And suddenly…

Yesterday I felt better. I know I’ve been feeling a bit better for a while, but that wasn’t better better, it was better in the sense that things were dulled. But yesterday I woke up and felt….heaven forbid…chirpy!

The reminder of what it’s like to approach the day with such a light feeling, was wonderful, and though the kids did their best to dissipate my mood, I wasn’t giving up! You see, once my mother arrived at 9, I was having the day off!!

From the kids, that is. As it was Friday and people need paying I still had to go to work for the morning, but that wasn’t a dampener as I love my job and my dim, quiet little office (home from home ;o)).

But something did happen at work that left me shaken and stammering. Earlier this week the boss’s wife invited me and mine to a barbeque, today, at their place. But not just us, it’s a party. And I think you lot know me well enough to realise I’m not someone who looks forward to large gatherings, compounded ten-fold when I don’t know anyone there. But it had been okay as the boss’s wife is a good friend and knows I’m skittish about such things, and quickly let me off the hook when my smile didn’t reach my eyes. Phew, she was great about it, and I soon forgot about it. Until yesterday, when the boss showed up. I was busy, head down, doing paperwork when he suddenly said his wife had mentioned I wasn’t ‘up to’ attending their barbeque, and he wanted to know why.

It’s safe to say I froze with complete horror! On the spot with someone I don’t know too well, with someone who’s about as outgoing as a person can be. I looked up like a rabbit caught in head-lights, as he calmly sat there watching me, completely oblivious to my rising panic at having to explain myself. I managed to stutter, ‘I’m actually very shy, can’t really cope with groups of people I don’t know.’

But that only made him laugh! I was dying of embarrassment at being put on the spot, and he was laughing!! ‘Is that what it is? What do you think will happen? Think my friends are going to point and laugh at you?’ he asked.

Which was really too much to ask, and I didn’t have an answer, well, except for my crimson face.

Thank goodness the man knows when to stop, because he stopped laughing and just shook his head with a grin.

Funny thing is, I think I like him more for asking. Like a hurdle of understanding if that makes any sense.

Anyway back to my day. My mood was still high, even a little amused at myself after my embarrassment, so I left the office at lunchtime and headed home with bounce in my step with the anticipation of an afternoon of nothingness.

But when I got home things were not as quiet as they should have been. The house still had three kids and a godmother in it! Putting on my best fake smile I approached with caution and was relieved to discover they were just waiting for Nana to arrive, which she did, an hour later.

Ho-hum, chin up and all that, I was still getting a couple of hours without the kids and my smile was genuine as I waved them off.

My mistake was lunch, a hurried bowl of cereal, and then I realised I hadn’t taken my tablet.

I’m not completely sure whether I can blame a stomach full of milk, but I’m reasonably sure it was, but within half an hour, I was less feeling chipper by the minute. I had heartburn like you wouldn’t believe and I didn’t dare lie down for fear everything would come up. Which, when I felt worse than I could imagine, I began to yearn for.

But I’m afraid of being sick. Much too close to the smell and sound, plus I have a lot of trouble stopping once I’ve started. I stood in front of the fan in the kitchen offering silent payers and curing my stupid medication. When I couldn’t stand it any longer I called the BH and asked him to bring home some Gaviscon in a vain hope it would work on the heartburn like it did when I was pregnant.

But it didn’t. I just felt worse and worse. It hurt to swallow, it hurt to move, everything burned. So I went to bed, and in a virtual sitting position, fell asleep.

I missed the kids return along with dinner, which there was no way I could have eaten anyway. And around nine last night, I got up and sipped on water, relieved that I did feel slightly better.

I feel almost okay again this morning, but I’m not looking forward to the medication at lunchtime, as I’m kind of afraid of it now (silly, I know).

And ultimately, I feel cheated! It’s not often I get an afternoon of nothingness and quiet and it was stolen from me.

Never mind, today’s another day and at least I get to go to work again on Monday, and hey, I still feel…not unhappy!