Dilemmas

My boys don’t get a lot of freedom. I know where they are and who they’re with at all times.

So yesterday when they asked if they could play football whilst J was at her swimming lesson, I hesitated. But bearing in mind J attends the swimming class at the boys’ school, and the lads wouldn’t be further than twenty feet from the building and still on school grounds, I decided it wasn’t a big deal and gave them permission on condition they didn’t wander off and were back before the lesson finished.

P was chuffed, as being only seven, he’s only recently reached an age that I’ll dare to allow him out of my sight. But unbeknownst to me other boys joined them in their kick around.

When they told me I didn’t see a problem, as only pupils from the school are allowed on school grounds. Not until P announced one of the boys had been calling him names and telling him to ‘P*ss off’.

I asked R why he allowed his little brother to be spoken to in this way, and R explained that this boy, although in his school year, was prone to do as he liked and R didn’t feel up to tackling him. Indeed it seems this very same boy received an internal suspension yesterday, for getting into a fist fight in the playground. An all round charming lad.

Now usually I don’t believe it’s wise to get involved with disputes and tale-telling between the kids and their friends. But I’m cross, because this boy is four years older than P and should know better. Plus now I don’t feel comfortable allowing P to go play football next week, because I can’t chance him thinking this behaviour is acceptable and possibly repeating the language in his year group.

But then I awoke this morning thinking how unfair it was that P shall be the one paying the price for this other boys deeds.

So I went to R’s form tutor and snitched on the little horror.

I don’t know if I’ve done the right thing, or whether I’ve just made things really horrible for my own lads when this boy discovers he’s having yet another bad day.

And the BH and I have decided P shall be allowed to go play football again next week, and we can only hope this other boy realises the error of his ways and plays nice!


My other dilemma is about a dog. You may remember some weeks back I broached the subject of getting another dog with the BH, and got a luke-warm reception.

But the thing is, one of the mothers at J’s school *chased me yesterday to ask if I would consider taking on a three year old boxer dog.

Now normally I wouldn’t consider bringing an adult dog into our home (because of how they might react with four children clambering all over them) but this dog’s history seems sound, and it’s only that his owners have separated that he’s looking for a new home.

And they’d be benefits. Boxers are very good with kids but aren’t as hairy as Labradors or Retrievers (my first choices), and we could miss all the awful puppy years of pee on the carpet and chewed belongings everywhere. Apparently he’s also spayed and is well behaved.

But the BH says he feels like he’s in a corner and can’t say no to me, and I don’t want him saying yes without feeling sure himself. And if I’m honest, I wasn’t thinking of getting another dog just yet, but then dogs are expensive and this one’s being offered free – so maybe it’s fate?

Ahhh, I don’t know! I guess we’ll invite the dog to stay for a long weekend and see how we all get on.


* I’ve been wondering how this mother decided to ask *me*, seeing as I was with a group of people but she addressed only me.