Posted. Deleted (again!). Make your mind up, woman!

Sometimes I just think I’m nuts. And I probably am, a little. When the kids were babies I used to say lack of sleep was the quickest route to insanity, and I’m not sleeping well. Again.

At first it was understandable. Whenever I closed my eyes, Ryker would appear. Now I lie there thinking about puppy names, if I’m lucky.

I don’t know what’s up with me, I’m not getting nightmares, I just have this overwhelming feeling like I’ve done something awful, or something awful has happened – I just can’t remember what. And the night's seem so long and noisy.

It’s probably wrapped up with Ryk’s. There’s stuff I haven’t written – or rather have written, and deleted!

I deleted last night’s post because I suddenly felt my post was too long, and I’d talked about R and some problems he’s having at school. At two in the morning I awoke with the feeling I'd shared stuff I shouldn't of, and had the urge to pull it. And as I figured it might help me to sleep, I did.

Though, as you can now see, any benefit didn’t last as long as I hoped.

Anyways, I’ll just grab the lighter stuff from that post, and tag it on here in shorter form. After all, I have to post something, sometime!

So, sing along with me: We’re getting a puppy, we’re getting a puppy!

Not long now(*gulp*, which I’ll explain in a minute), I’m off to England to bring him back myself, on Tuesday the 9th May. He’ll be just over eight weeks, and we’re getting around the age thing as he’s not going in the hold, but travelling right behind me on a private plane.

A part of me is screaming at the cost. But then, I’d rather have a dog than a plasma TV or a holiday! Not that I could afford those things, but I’d rather have a dog and go without plenty to get him. And I feel really good about this dog. He’s from a good line, proper pedigree and all that snobby stuff I’ve never bothered with before. But my dogs have tended to die young, and this time I’m going to do everything I can to make sure this mutt is with me for the next fourteen years! And the first step with that, is to make sure he’s from a healthy line (though I know you can’t guarantee against hip problems and the like. I can but try.)

Now to explain the *gulp*.

I’ve got to fly. I’ve deleted several swear words I originally typed.

Where to start? I don’t like flying. I used to be fine, when I was a kid, but the older I get the more I don’t want to do it. I think a big problem is our local runway. It’s on top of a cliff (not a very big cliff, granted, but a good hundred feet is enough!). When you land the brakes of the plane SCREAM, and though I don’t think many planes have gone over, I dread it. I’m hoping that because it’s an itty-bitty plane, that won’t happen this time. But I can also remember my boss (at the travel agents I used to work at) telling me how little planes were so unsafe compared to big ones. Guess there’s nothing to protect you, should you fall out the sky. Oooppppss!!! I really can’t think this. Seriously – I can’t. Mustn’t.

And anyway, that’s only half the problem. The other problem is kind of personal. So if there’s a limit on how much you want to know about me, leave now.

The flight there and back will take four hours, and as we’re landing at an airstrip I’m really not sure what will be there. But even if there’s a cluster of building, I’ll still be in a four-seater plane for a minimum of two hours each way.

And this is happening in the morning. Which is bad thing, a very bad thing.

You see, I always need to pee a lot in the morning. Against what I drink, the problem is ridiculous. And even if I allow myself only one cup of tea that day, I’m really worried. What do you do, when sat with a stranger in a tiny plane, and you need to pee? My friend suggested taking a bottle, to pee into, but really how likely am I to squat on the backseat? Dear heavens, what can I do? Are there tablets to stop you needing to pee? If so, can someone send me some? Please!

Of course I suppose I could step back and let the BH go. He thought he was. He didn’t think for a minute I’d want to get on a little plane, but I said no, I’m going.

Must think about names too. I originally like the BH’s choice, but have since gone off it, so I’m asking you. And for any serious suggestions I thought it an idea to list the names of my past male dogs, to give you a gist of what I like:

Kubi
Shanty
Simba
Ryker

The BH likes: Kobi

I like: Wooster

And I did think, D’argo might be a compromise, and kind of in keeping with Ryker being called Ryker, but he BH wasn’t impressed. And if you’re not a sci-fi fan, you won’t understand what I’m talking about ;o)