Tuesday, April 18, 2006

I’m baaaaaack!

Sorry about that. What can I say? Even I’m surprised how badly I fell apart. Can’t even claim I’m really back together yet either – but I do have something to focus on and look forward to – and that seems to be buoying me along.

So what’s been happening…I bet you’re holding your breath! Not a lot really. At least it hasn’t seemed so from the dark pit I wedged myself into. The kids broke up for the holidays and ate themselves sick over Easter (though not literally), and from what I gather they’re driving the BH and my mother bananas. But I’m afraid to say I really wouldn’t know. Everything’s passed me by as I sat contemplating my navel. And working.

I’ve been working quite a bit. Wish I could say it was riveting stuff, and in it’s own way – if you like unravelling anothers account – it has been. The accounts system is now transferred to a package I like and I think the job will be fun when I’ve truly come to grips with it.

But you don’t want to hear about accounts! You want to hear about puppies, don’t you? Yep! Getting a puppy is what’s obsessing my thoughts now. Well actually, Ryker is still obsessing my thoughts, but I figure once a new puppy arrives, he’ll keep me so busy I’ll barely have time to think about Ryks.

(Had a few people point out that the new puppy won’t be Ryker. If you’re feeling the inclination to do this, please don’t. I’m not stupid, and I know the new dog won’t be Ryker – in fact even if could clone Ryker, the new dog wouldn’t be Ryker! And I of all people know, Ryker is dead. But he’s left a gaping hole, that happens to be swallowing me, and this is a way to plug it.)

And I’m even sane enough to remember, the puppy years are a nightmare! I’m feeling very mixed about the chaos that’s coming, on the one hand – the puppy will be sooooooooooo cute! And cuddly! And have that puppy smell. And they’re just like children with their fascination at everything new. But on the other – my house will stink, and I only just got the carpets steam-cleaned. And they chew EVERYTHING, what isn’t destroyed with have little holes in it. And it’ll be months of dog training classes again. And the vets bills. Not to mention the personal bad habits this dog will educate me on. But then he’ll also have his own sweet-heart habits too. And I’ll have my shadow again, and life will be back to normal.

But never the same. I think that’s what I’m finding the hardest. I bloody hate the way life changes, and nothing you do, can stop it.

Oppps! Now I have to watch what I type. You see I haven’t really been very far away, I’ve been here most days to write a post. But what happens is, I fall into my pit, and waffle on in abject misery. Then I realise what I've done (that'd be when the pile of tissues gets so big it falls onto the keyboard), and have to delete before posting. And I refuse to do that today! And I also know I really shouldn’t allow myself to get like that anyway, after all, I’m as lucky as can be!

But that’s another of life’s quirks, because it doesn’t matter how blooming lucky you are, if you’re low – then you’re low. And it’s safe to say I’ve been low. In fact I think the last time I got this low, I was a moody mal-adjusted teenager.

But that was yesterday, and today, I’m getting a puppy! I think I’ve found THE one too. The breeder’s pencilled in our name. He’s six weeks old this Friday. Only problem is, he’s in England, and we’re not. And because the airlines enjoy their blanket rules and regulations (pertaining to pet passports, which our dogs don’t require) it may mean the puppy can’t travel for another six weeks. But I enjoy solving problems, and where there’s a will, there’s a way – and I want this puppy sooner!



Having said that, I'm finding some calm again, and if fate decrees I have to wait, then I shall wait.

Oh, and I also made a cake. Yesterday. You may remember I got two orders from J’s party (though you may also remember I can’t do this for a living, if I have a dog. And I AM having a dog!!).

Not as pleased with it as I’d hoped I’d be. But I have learned, creating an iced cake ball to look like wool, isn’t so easy ;o) But as I’m not charging my friend for anything other than the ingredients, and seeing as her daughter didn’t burst into tears and point out it isn’t a ball, I’m considering it a relative success (hey, this time last week I could barely get out of bed! Things are on the up!!)


12 Comments:

Blogger Internet Wombat said...

Hi Jona - It's good to have you back.

I know how down it's possible to get, I've been there - so I'm glad you are feeling better.

That cake looks good enough to eat :-) It reminds me of the cakes my mother used to make, you certainly have a talent.

Hope all goes well with the new puppy,

IW

Tuesday, April 18, 2006 8:07:00 pm  
Blogger Southern Sweetheart said...

Good to see you back Jona. I certainly can relate to the downward spin but things will begin to look up soon. Take care of yourself please. And yeah, the puppy is cute - I can't wait for you to get him too!!

Tuesday, April 18, 2006 10:16:00 pm  
Blogger OldHorsetailSnake said...

Everything is going to be hunky dory, Jona. Just takes time. You're doing great!

Tuesday, April 18, 2006 11:29:00 pm  
Blogger Tim-tambolini said...

You sound so much better, Jona, I'm happy to see you posting again (I've been checking for something everyday!). A PUPPY!!! That's great! Can't wait to see pics of him! The cat on your cake is really cute. I showed my mother the pics of the cake and she thinks it's awesome that you have such talent. Perhaps you'll share your secret and I'll try one myself someday.

Wednesday, April 19, 2006 12:07:00 am  
Blogger rdl said...

Sooooo glad to see you back!!And how excieting.. a puppy!! is it the big guy in the front?

Wednesday, April 19, 2006 1:56:00 am  
Blogger Anduin said...

Love that cake! It's so wonderful. Sorry about the boo-hoo's, I know how hard it is to climb out of a depressed state. Everything seems so hard and none of it feels like it matters anyways.

I think it's good that you are getting a puppy. Ryker was an essential part of your family. Getting a puppy will help everyone deal with the loss of Ryker.

Wednesday, April 19, 2006 4:55:00 am  
Blogger Who is this Dave? said...

As I'm in England, can I look after the puppy for the next six weeks for you? I'll get him house-trained.

Wednesday, April 19, 2006 6:01:00 pm  
Blogger Sam said...

Awww, cute puppies. I'm looking at mine stretched out and sleeping on the throw rug and he's so cute - and he is such a pisser, lol.
(I don't have carpets, just two throw rugs so I don't care)
He was easy to train - a little wire-haired dachshund - but they're not great with kids as a rule (mine is but he's Special, lol)
We have a chocolat Lab too and she's just Sweet. Never chewed anything but her toys (she had a ton)
Don't you have any breeders enar you? It's good to go see the parents and find out if they're barkers, neurotic, hyper, etc.

Wednesday, April 19, 2006 7:02:00 pm  
Blogger Douglas Hoffman said...

Adorable puppies, Jona! Welcome back. I know that puppy will do wonders for you. Now I want one . . . a cute little chihuahua to sit in my pocket and shiver. Wonder if the patients would object?

Thursday, April 20, 2006 7:42:00 pm  
Blogger Monique said...

Everyone goes through down times. Not one single one of us is happy and perky all the time.

And change is hard, but often brings unexpected pleasures. Like new puppies! I hope he arrives sooner rather than later. Enjoy!

Thursday, April 20, 2006 9:19:00 pm  
Blogger Ivy the Goober said...

It's a great cake! Good luck with the puppy! Have you picked out a name, or are you waiting for the day you receive him (or her)?

Friday, April 21, 2006 4:43:00 am  
Blogger MarkD60 said...

welcome back!

Friday, April 21, 2006 4:31:00 pm  

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