Thursday, February 02, 2006

It's Thursday!

Thirteen helpful tips to stop you having less glamorous moments like Jona

1. Smoking is bad for your health, especially when trying to light a cigarette in high winds. Eyes down in effort, as I walked with a non-smoking friend, I swear that lamppost jumped in front me. She damn near wet herself.

2. Bra’s can be unpredictable. Or at least mine are. Sitting in the front seat of my boyfriend’s car (many years ago!) my bra ‘popped’ undone, so I struggled to do it up. Didn’t realise I was providing a free flash till I saw the horrified face of a woman walking on the pavement and realised my t-shirt had risen in my effort.

3. Toddlers wriggle. So it’s probably not the best idea to hang them upside down over your shoulder when you chat with a social worker, as your reaction upon being kicked is to let them go.

4. Being heavily pregnant can alter your sense of balance. In fact it can totally destroy it, and sunbathing in just your knickers (even if your neighbours are at work) is inadvisable if there is nothing to hold onto, to help you get up again. At least no one was about to see my beached whale impression and subsequent crawl up the garden. I hope.

5. Lock your doors, even when home. Especially if you don’t have a bell and are enjoying a quickie with your ex (now my BH!), as love-struck work colleagues think nothing of entering your home to wait for you. And to the ex’s out there – best to put on some clothes before walking out the bedroom door.

6. Nerves lead to giggles when preparing to get married. And running through the vows in front of a sour faced vicar doesn’t help. You know the line ‘For richer or poorer’? Well when I said it, it came out ‘For Richard or…’ the BH grinned at me, ‘For Richard? Who’s Richard? If you doing this for Richard I’m outta here!’ And the memory makes you snort at the wrong moment when saying it for real!

7. If you talk in your sleep, it might be best not to sleep in public. Especially on a moving bus in the middle of the Australian outback, as standing up and screaming, ‘Please somebody help me!’ makes the driver and other passengers extremely nervous, and your companion less than keen to sit next to you.

8. Tampons should come in childproof boxes. But as they don’t, only us stupid people would let a toddler hold them as we wait in line for a till. And should the worst happen, you can be sure the only person to help you pick them all up will be gorgeous!

9. Generally I’m proud of my reversing skills. I’m better than most people, but occasionally get over confident and forget people move things. Like bins on bin day. I swear I barely knocked that bin, but I guess it must have been heavy, as it managed to demolish a neighbour’s wall when it toppled.

10. Being stopped by the police can make a person nervous. And I was young and had only been driving few weeks. So when the policeman asked me if I’d been drinking, I was completely honest and said yes. It took several more minutes for me to realise he meant alcohol (he didn’t ask that!) Though I was lucky he was so nice and understanding of my stupidity.

11. There’s no going back once you’re pregnant. And no amount of begging and pleading with the midwife, as you explain you made a mistake and aren’t really ready to have a baby, will change the outcome of the delivery.

12. When working at a travel agents, keep your arms down. Especially if the client you’re showing off talking to is cute and you have a tendency to get giggly. Have you any idea how many magazines they stack on those flimsy shelves? They make quite a sound when a wall’s worth collapses. Though it is very quiet in the moments after.

13. Keep up with old friends, as they may become rich and famous football stars. Of course when you don’t know this, and bump into them in the supermarket, it sure makes them smile when you ask what they’ve been up to in the intervening years!

Links to other Thursday Thirteens! (though I now realise I messed up last week and should have added TT commenters here, I’ll get it right this week!)

d.challener roe

Get the Thursday Thirteen code here!

The purpose of the meme is to get to know everyone who participates a little bit better every Thursday. Visiting fellow Thirteeners is encouraged! If you participate, leave the link to your Thirteen in others comments. It’s easy, and fun! Be sure to update your Thirteen with links that are left for you, as well! I will link to everyone who participates and leaves a link to their 13 things. Trackbacks, pings, comment links accepted!


Blogger Who is this Dave? said...

That was fun.

Thursday, February 02, 2006 12:57:00 pm  
Blogger mar said...

I simply LOVED your tips, I am still laughing! My TT is up, thanks for visiting

Thursday, February 02, 2006 2:06:00 pm  
Blogger Ginger said...

"11. There’s no going back once you’re pregnant. And no amount of begging and pleading with the midwife, as you explain you made a mistake and aren’t really ready to have a baby, will change the outcome of the delivery."

I SOOOO remember feeling that way too! lol

Thursday, February 02, 2006 4:06:00 pm  
Blogger YellowRose said...

Thanks for the giggles!! I really needed them this morning!!

My is up and thanks for visiting!

Thursday, February 02, 2006 4:41:00 pm  
Blogger d.challener roe said...

VERY funny.

My 13:

Thursday, February 02, 2006 5:32:00 pm  
Blogger Me Over Here said...

Dah, these were hilarious! Did all this stuff REALLY happen to you? See, that's why I hesitate at doing a Thursday Thirteen! I haven't had enough amusing things happen to me to report 13! Maybe when I'm older or more experienced? Until then, I'll get a giggle out of yours!

Thursday, February 02, 2006 5:44:00 pm  
Blogger OldHorsetailSnake said...

"...very quiet in the moments after." Good line, kid. A very amusing list, all around.

Thursday, February 02, 2006 5:46:00 pm  
Blogger mm said...

Loved it, Jona.

Thursday, February 02, 2006 5:49:00 pm  
Blogger Jona said...

Psssst MOH - yes these things REALLY did happen to me, and what's worse is, I have others ;o)

Thursday, February 02, 2006 7:03:00 pm  
Blogger Tim-tambolini said...

I will follow your lead for my next Thursday Thirteen. I think it will take me that long to think of Thirteen things. Oh, but I just thought of another topic I could talk about that I wouldn't have difficulty at all finding thirteen for.

I have this Thursday's list up if you want to take a gander.

Thursday, February 02, 2006 7:21:00 pm  
Blogger Douglas Hoffman said...

These were fun, Jona ;o)

Thursday, February 02, 2006 8:52:00 pm  
Blogger Karen said...

That was hilarious! I could relate to nearly all of them but especially #2. My bra seems to be everywhere but where it should be. I'm constantly tugging and readjusting. I'd buy a better quality one but I'm too cheap. lol

I know, too much information. lol

My list is up.

Thursday, February 02, 2006 9:04:00 pm  
Blogger Uisce said...

LOL, that's a great list!! My 13 are up!

Thursday, February 02, 2006 10:13:00 pm  
Blogger Titanium said...

Great TT. :) mine is up too... but I'm not sure how to do a link here, as I'm not so great with the codes...

Friday, February 03, 2006 3:30:00 am  

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