I’m feeling good, and sharing it with you ‘cause I don’t get to say it too often!

The last few days haven’t been lazy but they’ve definitely been a relief. I haven’t driven once this week and am convinced this had made a big difference to my stress level. I should also point out that the BH has been around too, and since he’s realised what hard work it is entertaining children at such varied stages, he’s been trying his best to help too!

I know it’s mean, but I can’t help but smile at how flustered he gets with the kids, he almost manages to make me look calm and generous!

And at this point I should stop and thank those who comment here, as you are doing wonders for my assertiveness! – Although it doesn’t always work.

Take last Friday, I sat my BH down and told him how I wasn’t coping too well with motherhood at the moment. I’ve only ever done this once before, a full decade ago, and so was reasonably sure he’d take me seriously. He did, and went on to apply his own de-stressing approach which is having sex every night. This de-stress method isn’t without merit, but there are quicker ways to improve my life.

But I got another chance to speak my mind last weekend when I went head-to-head with him over the dinner table rules, he wasn’t best pleased at the time but everything’s been running smoothly all week with my new (and improved!) table rules. The children are a lot happier and although he won’t admit it, I know the BH feels the same.

Then on Tuesday the BH was most miffed when he realised I was serious about walking to the shops again, and he couldn’t believe I considered an hours walk with four children, a dog and shopping to carry on the way home, less bother than taking the car. But I stuck to my guns and when we finally arrived home and the children quietly collapsed he began to appreciate my reasoning!

In a previous post I did mention that on Wednesday the BH lost it, and this was the true tuning point! It’s not that anything major has altered, we’re just sharing more and able to take solace with each other when you have one of those detestable moments when you want to run screaming from the madhouse.

And with a build up like that, I can confirm, today was perfect!

We decided to take the kids out to the castle and loaded them into the car (him driving!) and headed off. But we had some things to do first. No sooner had we parked in town when J announced she needed the loo. No problem! I know exactly which shops will show mercy on the bladder-impaired and sorted the situation quick-smart!

Twenty minutes later, J needed the toilet again (I kid you not) and then S and P got in on the act and crossed their legs too. No Problem! Back to original kind hearted shop assistant!

Fifteen minutes later (I’m serious!) she went for the hat trick. Unfortunately the only toilet was two floors down in a smelly car park and in the opposite direction. This needn’t have been a problem except her father was starting to shake with the sheer frustration of trying to start the day. So I told her to pee behind the car. She refused and said she’d wait, which in my book means she’s just after checking out all the toilets she can (she really likes to do this!).

But getting out to the castle wasn’t quick as the tide was against us and we had to travel on the puddle-ducks. This meant waiting. J crossed her legs and didn’t say a word. But she did as soon as we stepped off the duck! The poor girl was dancing as I dragged her around the entrance queue and demanded to know where the toilets were.

Bloody miles away, is where!

I had to leave the other kids with the BH as we ran off and disturbed a militia re-enactment in progress. My BH was astounded at my ability to hold my head up high as I loudly requested the attention of the stolen audience to ask where the nearest toilet facilities were (he arrived in time to see the crowd parting for us!).



Luckily this was the end of the day’s dramas and from that point on it was a delight.



I know I enjoyed walking around the castle, and the girls had fun making a pebble collection, P smiled endlessly and quietly sung ‘It’s a Pirates life for me’ all the way back on the duck. The eldest wasn’t bowled over – until I lent him the camera, then there was no stopping him! And the BH… well he’s quiet in a relaxed way, and I think two relaxed parents at the end of a busy day is enough to feel sure something went right.



Though he did groan when I said we were off to the Neolithic burial mound next week.