Half-assed!

I’m behind, with everything! The house is a mess, the laundry is piling up, bills haven’t been paid, the kids rooms are looking like disaster areas, the dog is beginning to hate me and has started walking himself, I haven’t returned calls, meals are getting decided upon preparation time (and last night got left to the BH to sort), my hair is constantly tied up in a mess, not a decent blog post in sight, and I’ve barely spoken to anyone because my mind’s elsewhere.

And after all that, my Nano word count isn’t as high as it should be!

Do I care? Not as much as I should! Actually I’m enjoying sitting here wrangling over what my heroine should do next (yeah, it would take a lot less time if I’d had the story planned out before I started, but hey, this is me!) In fact I’m really enjoying it! Have realised it’s looking very doubtful that I’ll make the fifty thousand words I need to be a winner, but even that isn’t putting me off

As you can guess I haven’t had time to write a witty and entertaining post (do I ever? Ha!), or even a grumble about the kids (and I have lots of those – grumbles and kids) but as you have so kindly swung by to see me, I have put together a selection of my favourite spam subject lines for your reading (I know it’s lame, but some of these amuse me!)

Don't expose your intimate life! You mean like I do in my blog?
Evil-wishers are always around to spread rumors. Plenty of evil gits trying to take my money too!
Why let people know about your intimate life? I guess because I’m becoming a hit slut.
If I got one, youll get ten lol This is a worry considering what they were selling…
Everybody was kung-fu fighting... Makes a change, and it sounds like fun!
Are You Destined To Be Fat? Umm, more likely poor if I respond.
Top 10 Ways to Improve Your Body Image Geeze, who sent you pictures?
Ever wanted a fuckfriend? Not as much as a spam filter!
Find sex-addicts in your area Got one of my own, should I register him?
Warning! this may contain more than you can handle! Very doubtful I’d want to!
Put some sunshine in your life with the Med diet! Yeah, ‘coz diets bring sunshine!
Dating for nymphos Umm, no thanks heaven knows where they've been, and marrying someone with an equal sex drive is definitely easier and less costly.
No more penis enlarge ripoffs! I’d have to have a penis to care, or are you suggesting I'm heavy handed?
Sexy Arms In Minutes! Is there such a thing?
Friends may come and go, but enemies tend to accumulate. For you maybe! You may like to consider refraining from telling people they need a bigger penis .

And my favourite: I’m bored I can tell, after all you’ve emailed a total stranger…


What’s the best scam subject you’ve had?