Friday, November 11, 2005

Half-assed!

I’m behind, with everything! The house is a mess, the laundry is piling up, bills haven’t been paid, the kids rooms are looking like disaster areas, the dog is beginning to hate me and has started walking himself, I haven’t returned calls, meals are getting decided upon preparation time (and last night got left to the BH to sort), my hair is constantly tied up in a mess, not a decent blog post in sight, and I’ve barely spoken to anyone because my mind’s elsewhere.

And after all that, my Nano word count isn’t as high as it should be!

Do I care? Not as much as I should! Actually I’m enjoying sitting here wrangling over what my heroine should do next (yeah, it would take a lot less time if I’d had the story planned out before I started, but hey, this is me!) In fact I’m really enjoying it! Have realised it’s looking very doubtful that I’ll make the fifty thousand words I need to be a winner, but even that isn’t putting me off

As you can guess I haven’t had time to write a witty and entertaining post (do I ever? Ha!), or even a grumble about the kids (and I have lots of those – grumbles and kids) but as you have so kindly swung by to see me, I have put together a selection of my favourite spam subject lines for your reading (I know it’s lame, but some of these amuse me!)

Don't expose your intimate life! You mean like I do in my blog?
Evil-wishers are always around to spread rumors. Plenty of evil gits trying to take my money too!
Why let people know about your intimate life? I guess because I’m becoming a hit slut.
If I got one, youll get ten lol This is a worry considering what they were selling…
Everybody was kung-fu fighting... Makes a change, and it sounds like fun!
Are You Destined To Be Fat? Umm, more likely poor if I respond.
Top 10 Ways to Improve Your Body Image Geeze, who sent you pictures?
Ever wanted a fuckfriend? Not as much as a spam filter!
Find sex-addicts in your area Got one of my own, should I register him?
Warning! this may contain more than you can handle! Very doubtful I’d want to!
Put some sunshine in your life with the Med diet! Yeah, ‘coz diets bring sunshine!
Dating for nymphos Umm, no thanks heaven knows where they've been, and marrying someone with an equal sex drive is definitely easier and less costly.
No more penis enlarge ripoffs! I’d have to have a penis to care, or are you suggesting I'm heavy handed?
Sexy Arms In Minutes! Is there such a thing?
Friends may come and go, but enemies tend to accumulate. For you maybe! You may like to consider refraining from telling people they need a bigger penis .

And my favourite: I’m bored I can tell, after all you’ve emailed a total stranger…


What’s the best scam subject you’ve had?

8 Comments:

Blogger Ivy the Goober said...

not lame, it amused me! If you're enjoying what you're doing... don't worry about the laundry and the kids rooms, and dinner. They'll all survive, and they'll see that those things are not as important as you striving for a goal. And doing things for yourself! Keep writing!

Friday, November 11, 2005 1:33:00 pm  
Blogger MarkD60 said...

I've heard the "friends come and go one before"
Jona, I think all your posts have been good. I get jealous because mine are so unimaginitive
I seem to recall it was just the other day that you posted the BH cleaned the house. It might be messy again, but it can't be THAT bad! Hee Heee Heeee!
Have a Good weekend!

Friday, November 11, 2005 1:40:00 pm  
Blogger Jona said...

Thank you, Ivy :o)

Mark, there's six of us, four of which think there's a magic cleaning fairy! And your posts are not unimaginitive at all, I love them, so there :o)

Friday, November 11, 2005 1:45:00 pm  
Blogger Lita said...

I was laughing so hard reading your responses to spam subject lines.

I look forward to your posts. I find it amazing that you can keep a sense of humor with such a full house. Keep posting.

My favorite spam line? Hmm... I guess it would be the penis enlargement one. I always thought that the spammers must know something I don't.

Friday, November 11, 2005 1:52:00 pm  
Blogger Internet Wombat said...

I had a good laugh at these!

I might turn my spam filter off for a couple of days and see what I get!

Friday, November 11, 2005 9:58:00 pm  
Blogger No_Newz said...

I have to ask, did you try the pee cone yet? Is that the real reason things aren't getting done at home? LOL!
Lois Lane

Saturday, November 12, 2005 3:32:00 pm  
Blogger FTS said...

Hey, if you need more spam for inspiration, I'll be happy to forward more to you from my inbox. ;)

Thanks for trying to post on my map. Try again sometime; maybe it was just a fluke.

Saturday, November 12, 2005 6:50:00 pm  
Blogger Jona said...

Hi Wombat, glad you enjoyed them :o)

Lois Lane, No I haven't and you've just reminded me I meant to go in the bank and pinch a couple of their paper cups! This week, I promise ;o)

Hi FTS - the map - I'm not there, I don't really exsist - but I have put in a City request :o)

Sunday, November 13, 2005 9:12:00 pm  

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