Thursday, August 18, 2005

I should have worn the vest bra!

This morning I went to the doctor and finally had that ECG I should have had weeks ago. It seems I’d left it so long even Dr B. couldn’t remember what he was looking for. In the old days it would have taken him a second to whip out my file and check, but these are modern times! Nowadays doctors get stropy computers that don’t accept passwords (case sensitive is just asking for trouble.)

So once he knew where we were the fancy machine gets pulled out, complete with sticky things. Shirt off*. Lie down. Pull bra up a bit. Pull bra down a bit. There we go!

Or don’t.

Umm, sticky things not damp enough. (Sticky things hurt when pulled s-l-o-w-l-y off forearm. I’LL DO IT MY-BLOODY-SELF!) Okay, new sticky things on. Let’s go!

Umm, interference?

Lights off. Plugs switches off. Would I mind taking my bra off because the underwire could be interfering? Gee no cute Doctor, I just love getting these puppies out in a freezing office that’ll make my nipples pop an air-conditioned office, and having them wrenched about(Oh and this is just the time to remember how human doctors are ;o)). One more try!

Well Bloody hell, I’m obviously NOT DEAD regardless of what the damn machine says!

Boobs away, we’ll look at the previous test results.

Liver – good
Kidneys – good
Cholesterol – good (HA, unbelievable! As I’m a pig and always thought if anyone checked my cholesterol they’d shit a brick - but no, go figure!)
Thyroid – good (huh? Does this mean it’s NOT a thyroid problem? Bugger, I wanted an easy answer!)

So it seems on paper (though not ECG paper) I’m healthy!

Which is wonderful news.

Except… what about the symptoms? (I’m going to assume you’d like to view the next blog sometime soon, so I won’t bother listing)

Oh great more tests.


* Those who have read my blog from the start will know I spent considerable time choosing my bra.


Blogger Moxie said...

you really make me laugh...shit!...i've decided, "to hell with my blog", i'll just keep reading yours instead!

Thursday, August 18, 2005 8:16:00 pm  
Blogger Jona said...

No! I like yours - so get back there and write a post, woman! (thanks ;o))

Thursday, August 18, 2005 8:25:00 pm  
Blogger MarkD60 said...

Can it really get cold enough for your nipples to actually explode at the doctors office?

Friday, August 19, 2005 11:44:00 am  
Blogger Douglas Hoffman said...

I'm so confident your doctor is human that I'll bet he looked at his schedule for the day, saw "Debi/ECG/Rrroowrrr", and ratcheted down the air conditioning ten degrees in anticipation.

I would have ;o)

Friday, August 19, 2005 3:07:00 pm  
Blogger Jona said...

Pop, Mark, not explode! (As in pop out!!)

Doug - I'm not taking your bet, 'cause I'm not asking him!

Friday, August 19, 2005 11:16:00 pm  

Post a Comment

<< Home