One day at a time...
Yesterday I slipped. And - unusually - I don't mean 'I met the floor with a thump' type of thing.
I mean I slipped mentally.Back I went into my colourless pit, as I smiled through my day pretending I was just peachy. And I woke this morning feeling like the world could go to hell, again.
But I had to go out. Meet someone. And strangely, it really helped. Not going to detail the reasons why he made the difference, and I couldn't explain how as am not even sure, but I drove home cultivating the small glimmer of strength I felt.
And now..... well, for me, this is as good as it gets ('cos let's face it, I am not about to turn into Little Miss Perky!) I feel stronger again, I like feeling that I could say 'Fuck you!' to certain people (and yes, sadly that is how I judge my degree of strength these days, although it does NOT mean I would actually say that - hey, I am still *me*).
And to end on a positive note.... I have managed to sort about 60% of my story idea for NaNoWriMo, and am hoping the rest will formulate over the weekend; ...Christmas pressies have started arriving, so I am feeling downright organised! And I was sorta kissed last night, not what you'd call 'passionately' but more of kiss than I have experienced in a few years.
At this rate, I might be a grown up within a decade or two ^^