One day at a time...
Yesterday I slipped. And - unusually - I don't mean 'I met the floor with a thump' type of thing.
I mean I slipped mentally.Back I went into my colourless pit, as I smiled through my day pretending I was just peachy. And I woke this morning feeling like the world could go to hell, again.
But I had to go out. Meet someone. And strangely, it really helped. Not going to detail the reasons why he made the difference, and I couldn't explain how as am not even sure, but I drove home cultivating the small glimmer of strength I felt.
And now..... well, for me, this is as good as it gets ('cos let's face it, I am not about to turn into Little Miss Perky!) I feel stronger again, I like feeling that I could say 'Fuck you!' to certain people (and yes, sadly that is how I judge my degree of strength these days, although it does NOT mean I would actually say that - hey, I am still *me*).
And to end on a positive note.... I have managed to sort about 60% of my story idea for NaNoWriMo, and am hoping the rest will formulate over the weekend; ...Christmas pressies have started arriving, so I am feeling downright organised! And I was sorta kissed last night, not what you'd call 'passionately' but more of kiss than I have experienced in a few years.
At this rate, I might be a grown up within a decade or two ^^
posted by Jona at 2:04 pm
2 Comments:
Jona, Jona. I'm wondering about who you met, and if it's who I think it is, then I guess I completely understand why you felt strengthened.
I also think you're a nut for doing the NaNo...but, at the same time, it probably allows for an escape the same as reading a good book would.
I've been forced to read that triology every woman seems to rage about these days. It's complete garbage...many have agreed with me, but you know that most of us feel we have to follow through with things, so I'm about to start the third book. Did I mention it is all complete crap? Fifty shades of crap!
Don't grow up...it's over-rated.
I have managed to avoid reading 'that' trilogy, simply because the reviews on the writing were appalling, and if I want to read erotica, there's plenty of good stuff free on the net :P
And yes, am using NaNo as a form of escape, as I do reading, but am hoping it will kick start me writing again - which I do miss :)
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