Tuesday, April 17, 2007

Conversations from last night…

P: ‘So I’m half Scottish, and half English?’

R: ‘No, you’re half Scottish, and half Welsh.’

Me: ‘No he’s not, I’m not Welsh!’

R: But you were born in Wales.”

Me: ‘But I don’t have any Welsh blood. And you were born here, does that make you J*****?’

R and P frown at each other.

R: ‘Dad says you’re Welsh.’

Me: ‘Dad likes to wind me up.’

R: ‘So what are you?’

Me: ‘Technically, I have some English heritage, and some European.’

R: ‘So you’re English.’

Me: ‘No, I'm not English. I have some English blood is all, but I'm not really anything.'

R (giving me a sly knowing grin): 'You have to be something! You're Welsh, admit it.'

Me: 'No I'm not!
My biological mother was on holiday when she had me, she didn’t mean to have me in Wales!’

R: ‘How do you know that?’

Me: ‘Because she told me.’

R: ‘You’ve met her?’

Me: ‘Yes.’

R: ‘When?’

Me (starting to feel out of my depth and becoming aware that my three youngest children are paying way too much attention to this conversation): ‘None of your business, and I think we’ll drop this conversation now.’

Half an hour later P comes and finds me in the office.

P: ‘Mom, are you my biological mother?’

Me: ‘Yes, P.’

P: ‘Prove it!’

Me (wondering what his big brother has been telling him): ‘Well, there are pictures of me when I was pregnant with you, pictures of us together right after you were born. In fact I even have pictures of you when you were in my tummy. And, I have a scar where they cut me open when you were born.’

P (thinks on it for a moment): ‘But maybe they mixed me up with another baby…’

Me (rolling my eyes): ‘You and J are too alike for that. Trust me, P, you’re mine!’ I tell him and push him out the door into the kitchen, where he passes his father.

P: ‘Dad, I’ve just asked mom if you’re my biological father, and she said no!’

Me: Lost for words, and wondering what I can throw at the little git as he runs off laughing.

BH: Also lost for words, but has his eyebrows raised!


Blogger OldHorsetailSnake said...

Ah, this was well worth waiting for.

Wednesday, April 18, 2007 1:25:00 am  
Blogger rdl said...

Too funny!!

Wednesday, April 18, 2007 1:46:00 am  
Blogger Oopsy Daisy said...

He's going to really have you on your toes when he hits his teenage years.

Wednesday, April 18, 2007 2:21:00 am  
Blogger Dave said...

I'd get all their DNA tested straight away, just in case.

And the dog's.

Wednesday, April 18, 2007 7:11:00 am  
Blogger MarkD60 said...

I went through a period where I speculated that I was adopted.

My neighbors dogs are terrible too. I thought it was lack of training, but now I wonder.

Wednesday, April 18, 2007 2:02:00 pm  
Blogger I, like the view said...



Friday, April 27, 2007 11:21:00 pm  
Blogger dakotablueeyes said...

lmao I love that

Saturday, April 28, 2007 6:32:00 pm  
Blogger Lyvvie said...

Ha ha hahahahaaa! Oh the last bit was brilliant!!

I have a Scottish husband too, aren't they just a charm?

If this conversation happens to me, I simply say I'm an alien and watch expressions cross their faces. I say alien because immigrant sounds so trashy, and American just makes people ask questions I'm now bored of answering. Whether they think illegal alien or outer space is up to them.

Friday, May 04, 2007 12:13:00 pm  

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