In hiding

This post isn’t really for men to read because it’s a female ramble, you can stay if you want but you’ll hear about my menstrual cycle. You’ve been warned.



This morning I awoke with a major headache. My first reaction was to blame the decaffeinated tea I started drinking after ten last night. But resuming my normal beverage didn’t help and by the time the kids had had their breakfast I admitted defeat and headed for the painkillers.

Half an hour later the headache was still throbbing but the irritation had lessened. In its place came a feeling of sorrow and I retreated to the bedroom in the hope of sobbing into my pillow.

Once there I wondered why. I have nothing to base these feeling on. Then it dawned on me my period must be due.

Most women are probably more organised and know when their periods are to strike. And I have no excuses because mine are regular. I just don’t pay attention. They’re going to happen whether I’m counting the days or not, so why bother?

The difference with this period is that I’ve realised they really do affect me. This is not an easy admission. In fact it pisses me off beyond words to admit hormones make me a different person. I can accept that pregnancy alters you disposition, but periods? I’m mean, bloody hell, every damn month? I've watched TV shows where the men get to take the piss out of women who are ‘due’. I’ve heard the jokes. But I guess being married to man who has more sense than to suggest my moods may be hormone related, has distanced me from the reality. This and the fact there’s usually so many real reasons why I could be feeling like this.

Back in bedroom this revelation resulted in some amazing clear thinking, though I still wanted to sob. And by the time the BH came looking to see where I was hiding, I was able to explain in a calm manner what the matter was. I also said I would like to be left alone. Totally alone.

The man is a saint. Truly. How many husbands would smile and say they’ll immediately remove all irritations out of the house, even the dog? Listening to my RL friends – not a lot! (though on the internet there seem to be an amazing amount of great husbands about. And his actually words were ‘I’d rather you stayed home alone, than come out and snap at everyone.’)

So off they’ve gone. The house is silent and my period has arrived. And I’m left truly pissed off that my relaxed and calm persona dissipated not because of stress and loud children, but because of my own damnable body. And there’s nothing I can do about it but wait it out.