One day I'll catch up

My relaxing Saturday

8:40 am I tell R to collect his inhaler and French doctors notes and get in the car.
8:55 am Finally leave, having torn the house apart trying to find inhaler (that’s he’s supposed to keep with him at all times!)
9:05 am Arrive at doctors open-surgery, and find that we’re fifth in line (could’ve been worse!)
9:15 am Has the doctor even arrived at the surgery?!
9:55 am See doctor. R put on anti-histamines for the summer and told to attend asthma clinic (held this morning, till midday at hospital).
10.10 am Having driven into town, got a parking space am now on search for fathers day card I forgot to buy in week.
10.15 am Ist shop – cards too frumpy.
10.18 am 2nd shop – cards too cutesy.
10.22 am 3rd shop – it’ll do.
10.23 am Have discovered my pen is not in my bag. Grrr, am blaming kids!
10.25 am Bright idea! Go into bank and use their pens. Smile at tellers.
10.30 am Have to pop into iPod shop for list of prices my husband wants checking. Why is there always a queue when you’re in a hurry?
10.39 am Get prices, but am ready to scream because R is whining he wants a mini iPod for birthday. Tell him he stands a snowballs chance in hell.
10.43 am Finally get to coffee shop to meet my father for coffee (‘coz I’m not seeing him tomorrow). Kisses, chaos and coffee all round.
10:50 am Oh look there’s SS, my ex-best friend’s ex-husband and their kids. More kisses and a quick grope (I swear he told me to! He’s very proud of his body and is in bodybuilding competition tonight – it’s even on the telly!!)
11:05 am Oh look there’s SM, the girls’ god-mother. Just think of all the germs I’m getting with all this kissing! And there’s way too many of us sitting around a tiny table.
11:17 am Explain we have to dash to hospital, bye everyone – yep! Even more kisses.
11.23 am Find a parking space in front of Hospital reception (the fates are smiling)
11:25 am Standing in queue to ask where’s the asthma clinic. The guy at the front appears to be chatting the receptionist up – not asking a bloody question and moving on!
11:27 am Yippee! We know where we’re going.
11:28 am Why are the doors to the second corridor locked?
11:30 am Please god, where the hell is everybody? And why is half this hospital locked up?
11:35 am Back at reception.
11:38 am Okay, up two flights of stairs, along a corridor and down two flights of stairs to get around locked corridor on ground floor. This cannot be right! What if there’s a fire? What if R has an asthma attack because of dashing up and down stairs? Hey, I’m the pipe piper! An old couple and a girl have joined me ‘coz they’re lost and wandering around on the wrong floor!! (They think I know where I’m going, HA!)
11:42 am Dropped of oldies at path lab, girl has figured where an exit is and we’ve found little signs pointing the way (up another two fucking flights of stairs, who designed this place?)
11:46 am Who’d have thought – no queue!! Nurse looks pissed off that anyone has the nerve to show up when she’s about to finish for the day.
12:17 pm Getting out the hospital might have been exhausting, but we did it without getting lost.
12.29 pm Home at last. Better check my diary and see where we’re going next.
12.30 pm Can this be right? A party starting at 1:30 and ending at 1:30? BUGGER!! It started an hour ago.
12:31 pm Scream at J to get ready NOW! Phone party mom and ask where I’m going, after apologising for being an air-head.
12:47 pm Arrive. Park in neighbour’s driveway, and hope they have understanding nature.
12:48 pm Much apologising and kisses all around. On the up-side I’ve cheered up all the moms who thought they were late.
12:50 pm Little F, J’s best friend, comes up and tells me I’m taking her home.
12:53 pm Party mom confirms F’s mother said she’d hoped I wouldn’t mind.
01:52 pm We’re the last to leave because J burst into tears and refused as she’d only just arrived.
01:53 pm Party mom blanches when she sees where I’ve parked. Oppps.
02:07 pm Arrive at F’s to drop her off. J runs in. I follow. Nice house, nice garden, nice pool. Try to leave because I was due at my brothers at 2.
02.10 pm Blimey, F’s mom is pouring her heart out. Her husband’s left.
03.15 pm Pull up outside my brother’s house. He’s not happy and has mattresses stacked in doorway.
03.17 pm Brother and I wrestle said mattresses into back of my car. You’d imagine drivers would show some compassion and slow, not a bit, they toot irritably and make charming hand signals.
03.25 pm Make it home and unload mattresses. Husband not happy ‘coz I’d said I’d be home an hour ago.
03.30 pm Many apologies later and it’s time to start the chores. Where's my bag? I need to get to the supermarket!



Lazy Sunday Mornings

09:37 am Husband allows me a lie-in ‘coz I had a bad night. Oh shit, is that the time?P’s due at a party in twenty-three minutes!!