The dark before the dawn

Eight year ago I started turning into my mother. Or rather, I became a morning person. This came about after returning from a holiday with a 5 hour time difference, I simply never adapted back to my previous habits.

Not that I really remember those habits, I just recall years of dragging myself out of bed when a child cried and woke me, and then walking around like a zombie for several hours. Maybe - given the chance - I would have become a morning person years earlier, but the kids liked to prove who was boss from their start.

I like mornings. I like watching the dawn. Before marriage and children, the only time I saw the dawn was when I had been partying and had stayed up all night. Funny that my best memories of those years are not the parties themselves, but of those quiet moments when the party had ended only because the new day was arriving. I can't always remember the people I was with, but I remember sitting on damp beaches watching the sun appear on the horizon.

Well these days - even though I am awake- I rarely make it to the beach, as moving about too much wakes the house and unlike babies, I don't want company as soon as I wake - and I get company if the wake! Sadly I can't see the horizon from my pokey little garden. Can't even see the sun for the first few hours of the day, as the house faces the wrong way. But I can see the stars before the sky lightens, and watch as the colours change through the hues.

And the smell. I adore the smell of dawn. Not many understand what that smells like. In fact, I have received such odd looks when I mention it, that I have started to wonder if it's in my imagination, especially as I have such a poor sense of smell. But to me the world smells different just before and after and dawn. It's a better smell than the rest of the day. Calmer, and more comforting before the sun arrives, and then fresh and clean as the light changes.

I sat outside before dawn today and felt sad that the summer is ending. It's just not the same when dawn arrives later, and the world is awake before the light dares to emerge to cloudy gray skies. But I also know I will enjoy the longer darkness, and I will sit and stargaze instead, smell the night for longer.

I can't understand why everyone isn't a morning person, they are missing out! But am glad too ;)