Thursday, September 08, 2005

I have a little book

It’s called ‘Don’t Sweat the Small Stuff’. When I’m low and my perspective is shot, I open it and realise what an ungrateful bitch I am, and how I cause my own problems. Sometimes it helps.

I don’t look for particular pages, just open and see what’s there. Yesterday’s advice was be grateful. It doesn’t matter what for, it can be as simple the person who let you out in rush hour traffic.

I was about to go in for a bath, and decided I’d be grateful for whoever thought the concept of soaking in steaming hot (and I mean HOT!) bath. After all, how many of our ancestors had the luxury and ease of something I take for granted? Unfortunately, bath’s these days aren’t what they were (I used to do candle light and music) and instead my mind wandered off thinking that I really should clean the bathroom, and what a crap housewife I am to let it get so messy. I still haven’t.

But I looked again.

The next bit of advice was make eye contact and smile at a stranger. This has resulted in guilt. I was smiled at on Tuesday. By a builder at my daughter’s school, he wasn’t wearing a shirt, which in his case was a treat for all to see and I can bet many women would have felt flattered. I should have been. But instead I scowled at him and began wiping my face in an effort to remove whatever amused him. I looked for him today so I could smile back and maybe make up for my rudeness, but he wasn’t about. My guilt still is.

I’ve just opened the book again. Today’s advice is, agree with criticism directed toward you (then watch it go away), and then it prattles on about how defensive we are when someone criticises us and how we should listen and hear the truth, so we can calmly accept and change.

Oh yeah, this is bound to make me feel better about myself.


Blogger OldHorsetailSnake said...

Aw, don't change Debi. If you quit being sarcastic, antagonistic, procrastinating and unhappy, you wouldn't have anything at all to write. Then what would I do with my spare time? Heh.

Hoss 1, Debi 0

Thursday, September 08, 2005 4:27:00 pm  
Blogger Anduin said...

Debi, I know how you feel. I often have moments of unhappiness in my life and I have to stop and think about just how blessed I really am. Someone once told me that only about 5% of the world population lives as well as I do. Out of 6 billion people, that really isn't very much. I use that to remind myself to stop being so ungrateful for what I have.

I started doing the smiling thing and I love the results. People love it when you smile at them. You can see that it makes them feel good. I even smile at women and it seems to tear down that defensive wall we put up around ourselves. I know you can do it. Just try one thing and see how good you feel about it.

Thursday, September 08, 2005 4:47:00 pm  
Blogger mm said...

I call them my "Lucy Jordan" moments.

"Her husband, he was off to work, and the kids were off to school
And there were oh so many ways for her to spend her day
She could clean the house for hours, or rearrange the flowers
Or run naked down the shady street screaming all the way"

Men get to have their midlife crises. I figure we're allowed to pout now and then.

Thursday, September 08, 2005 5:01:00 pm  
Blogger Jona said...

Thanks, Hoss…(I think ;o))

Anduin, Thanks and I know this will pass, but the smile one, *sigh*. Still, tomorrow’s another day…

Maureen – I like that song and shall ask my father to pull out his old Dr Hook LPs (is like the right word?)

Thursday, September 08, 2005 9:54:00 pm  
Blogger MarkD60 said...

I had the same book, "Don't Sweat The Small Stuff". Underneath it says "It's All Small Stuff"
If something is bothering you and you can change it, then you don't need to let it bother you, because you can just change it.
If something is bothering you and you can't change it, it's pointless to let it bother you, because you can't do anything about it. Since worrying about it is pointless, you might as well not.
Easy to write, hard to do in "RL"!
I hope you get feeling right again soon!

Thursday, September 08, 2005 11:03:00 pm  
Blogger josh said...

would you like me to send a critism your way so you can practice?

oh, wait...i couldn't think of any. ;)

Thursday, September 08, 2005 11:40:00 pm  
Blogger Douglas Hoffman said...

I first heard this bit of advice standing in line at a famous sandwich place in downtown LA. I'm 16, hanging with GFv1.0 on her lunch hour (she had a summer job working for a lawyer).

A mom in front of us told her screaming brat, "Don't sweat the small stuff, and at your age, it's all small stuff."

I remember thinking, "Oh, boy, does she not remember what it's like to be a kid."

Meanwhile, some guys were staring at GFv1.0's chest, nodding appreciatively, and making sounds like this: "Uhuhuhuhuh." They picked up their sandwiches, and as they left, one of them said to me, "Goodlooking girlfriend you got there."

I said thanks. After they'd left, GFv1.0 said, "You are so stupid. Didn't you say the way they were looking at me?"

"Hey," I said, "Don't sweat the small stuff."

(True story, up until that last line ;o)

Friday, September 09, 2005 4:12:00 am  
Blogger mm said...

Is it just me, or has the Jersey Fact taken a decidedly editorial turn today? :-)

Friday, September 09, 2005 10:59:00 am  
Blogger Jona said...

Mark, It's the same book! The advice is great, in theory.

Thank you, Josh ;o)

Doug, being a kid wasn't easy, but being a grown up is harder!

Maureen, well yeah, I did have a run in with a cyclist yesterday which resulted in me screaming 'stupid boy!' out the window (I often think these things, but rarely say them ;o))

I'm feeling a lot chirpier today, thank you all for you nice words - this is a super place to come to when life is looking tiresome :o)

Friday, September 09, 2005 1:44:00 pm  

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